Day 11 of Rachel’s 40 Days of Gratitude: Forgiveness and her big sister, Acceptance.

I am so grateful for forgiveness.  Not so much forgiveness for myself, but for sweet relief, or the en-LIGHTEN-ment that forgiving (and accepting) others brings me.

I recently had “a thing” with somebody with whom I was close. 
“Do not harm” is the first, most basic tenant of my spiritual practice and intellectually I know that I hurt this somebody, even if it was unintentionally,  but could not muster remorse because I thought they deserved it/brought it on themselves/violated my privacy/I was entitled to express myself, etc… I really driving myself crazy trying to muster remorse and was feeling bad that I didn’t feel bad about it. 

Then I had an epiphany:  before I could work on feeling remorse and wanting forgiveness for myself, I had to forgive this somebody for the stuff that they did that prompted me to hurt them, and a big part of that was acceptance.  I realized that my negative reaction toward the this somebody stemmed from my failure to accept them at exactly where they were at, regardless of what I considered right or wrong and that somebody was doing the best that they were capable of when the they did all the stuff that resulted in my hurting them. 

Think about a two year old:  you don’t get mad at a two year old for spilling a beverage, because that’s where she’s at in her development.  It’s the same thing with everybody else:  we are all at different stages of emotional and spiritual development, and since people do the best that they can at the time, even if it’s not YOUR best or even close to what anybody would objectively consider BEST, accepting them for exactly who they are is really the first step in forgiving them.   

Acceptance also enabled me to stop feeling bad about not feeling bad.  I accept where I am at with the situation, both the part that lead me to hurting the somebody and my feelings about it now. 

I am still working on being remorseful and wanting forgiveness for myself but accepting and forgiving that somebody has released a lot of the negativity, especially the anger, which I am know brings me closer to wanting to be forgiven.

Love,

Rachel